Dear Experiment

Dear Experiment,

I have dreamt many times about this opportunity. I would always dream that it would take place at our favorite restaurant. I would always come in looking jawn dropping (per usual), you compliment me and I just smirk. You think it’s a good thing, well little do you know just what’s in store for you. 

It seems as if you are being friendly, not being genuine but because you want something. Let me guess you want what we had? Well jokes on you, that’s not going to happen. I sit there smiling and can’t help to giggle. You seem nervous, you should be. 

You try to make small talk, asking those “ How have you been? What’s new?” Questions like you give a damn. I answer them politely with a smile “I am doing great, thanks for asking” In my head, I respond “I am doing so much better off without you.” 

Then I ask “So what made you ask me to have lunch with you?” You lie at first “I just wanted to catch up and see how you’ve been doing.” 

In my mind, I’m thinking “sure you are.”

I reply “aw yeah, everything has been going perfect.”

He starts talking about himself, per usual. Cue the eye roll.

Him: “Yeah I’ve been doing good.” Cue the Charlie Brown teacher talking. *WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP*

Me: “That’s good to hear.”

Him: “I am glad you are doing good, you look amazing too. I have to admit, I do miss you.” 

Me: “Aw that’s cute.”

Him: Do you at all miss me? 

Before we began, I want to state I have day-dreamed countless things I would say, given the opportunity. Without further ado. I’m just going to write out as much as I can think of. 

Me: “No…not one ounce of me misses anything about you, in regards to you, hell not even a fart in the wind about you. To me personally your not even worth half an afterthought. Quite frankly you ain’t shit. You walk around like your shit don’t stank, news flash to you, you’re the most stank mofo out here. You play victim so you can use and take advantage of women. I refuse to give you that opportunity again. If no other woman is going to kick you off your high horse you so proudly sit upon. Hello, you have met your maker. All I have ever heard was you talk now it’s time for you to shut the hell up. 

How do you get the say in things, how do you get to make decisions to who does and say what and how things go. You are no king. Your the dog shit my landscaper steps on in my back yard. If not, definitely less than. Your a joke and to think that you could be man enough, now that’s stand up comedy. 

I came here to obtain closure and for once get things off my chest. You broke me down. I almost lost myself trying to cater to you. I was never enough for you. My ass wasn’t fat enough for you. You always tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. If I wanted to get plastic surgery, I would get it. I am trying to love myself and accept myself for who I am and what I look like. Knowing an ass like you do not compliment that. 

I am so much better off without you. I don’t know you and honestly never did. 

*I leave*

Please remember that closure from painful situations are and can be helpful for healing. You may not get that opportunity in person but one of my friends said: “why not write it out.” Therefore, I did just that. Please remember you are remarkable. Never let someone or anyone make you think or feel otherwise. Never let someone use you and or take advantage of you. Know your worth!

Stay Amazing!,

Tiayra aka, Fucktional Introvert